I, Me and Myself

Monday, May 30, 2005

being in love

“…And I hope you are the one I share my life with,
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray that you’re the one I build my home with…
I hope I love you all my life….”
 __Daniel Bedingfield, If your not the one.


Everybody says its great to be in love. Many describe it as an out of body experience that does not compare to anything in this world and many says it gives a reason to live.
What a whole load of crap!!!!!!!…. now don’t take me wrong but isn’t that a bit exaggerated? Personally I have never been in love, not that I know of anyway. My whole life I have searched for this feeling that brings unconditional happiness in one’s life. I have seen many of my friends be in this “love” kinda feeling. Actually theirs is the puppy kind of love that usually exists in college life. They do seem happy but all I get out of them is a desperation that makes them seem almost helpless. They go red, mumble stupid stuff, I mean really stupid stuff, you can’t get them to stop talking about him or in their terms “the special one without whom their life is meaningless” (Whatever!!!!) and there’s one more thing, they cant seem to stop smiling the whole time!!!Sheesh……..kabab!!!!! ….I know (Inside joke).
Ever since, I have been very skeptical of love or whatever that is. I am a very practical person and rarely let my heart rule over my head. I don’t believe too much in relationships coz I cant imagine, well…liking a guy for a really long time to call it a respectable relationship. I mean everybody has crushes, even there u are so sure that the feeling is going to last forever, it somehow always seems to go away and there’s nothing u can do to feel for that person anymore. Thanks to all this I have gotten the almost cold hearted –winter queen attitude among my friends coz I just don’t feel that much….that they know of.
So,…….. the real reason why I am writing this article. He he he … (sheepish laugh) well……. Today I met the cutest guy around..(need I say more??). I have had crush on him for quite some time though he has absolutely no idea(thank god). I happen to think he is very cute ( just reaffirming established fact) but I never told anyone coz I didn’t think its that big a deal. I just let such feelings pass and don’t pay too much attention to this.
Soooooo…. I met him again today… He’s an acquaintance and as soon as I saw him…my face went red (which is a big thing for me coz I rarely go …well……..red.)Then I started mumbling the stupidest things in the world….I mean u spend ur whole life learning complicated words and watch the daily news and movies so u are aware of all the current events especially when ur doing a course in journalism and …..BAAMM…….. when u need it the most, the smart part of u gets automatically shut!!!!…nothing…and I mean nothing smart comes to ur mind other than ….
“so what are u upto”??????!!!!!!!!aaahhhhhhhhhhh……stupid female harmones that affect the proper functioning of the brain…… and then I went on to declare my ‘intelligence’ by more stupid things that I would not even dare to write down. But I soon recovered and made him laugh at my stupid jokes(thank god he’s not tthhaaaaaaaaaaattt smart……. not in a bad way). Well he left and I did a kind of victory dance…..apparently I did not get the difference between making a good, smart and funny impression from a stupid, overacting and desperate one!!!!!!.
But what struck me was that even now nearly six hours after meeting him, I cant stop smiling. ….I tired and I just cant stop.… I smiled all the way to my friend’s place, drove her insane by non stop talk about him and turned red whenever I thought about him…..I smiled like an idiot all the way back and am sure people thought I am slightly off my rockers…that’s ok…they don’t know how it is to be in love…right?!
Guess I’m normal after all!!!!!;)

Posted by vidi :: 8:59 AM :: 3 wisecracks:

Post / what they thought...

-------------------------------------