I, Me and Myself

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Because she screwed up 4 credits!

This is the story of Ms. Menon. She is a teacher. But she does not teach. She has a bunch of students. But because she does not teach, they do not learn anything. She used to ramble in class and the students ate biscuits, wrote poetry, carved graffiti on desks and dreamed of non-existent futures in Culture Studies. Thanks to her obviously. She foamed and the students were reminded of the sloppy consistency of the Upma served in the mess that morning. She rolled her eyes and the students thought they might eventually fall out of her sockets. Nothing materialized. She proclaimed love and suicide threats in the same breath. Again nothing materialized. Her tales of punctuality were made of legendary stuff. She was usually ten minutes early for next week's class. So the students waited and ate biscuits, wrote poetry, carved graffiti on desks and dreamed of non-existent futures in Culture Studies. Thanks to her obviously.

Anyway, one day as she was rambling, foaming and rolling her eyes, she began giggling. Now, rambling, foaming and rolling eyes the students could stand, but GIGGLING??!! That was the last straw for the students. Seeing an almost 100 kg woman giggle while she put them through 240 minutes (when she did turn up) of pure, undiluted and unadulterated torture every week was unacceptable.

So they all pounced on her. She foamed, rolled her eyes and even issued suicidal threats. But the students were used to all of that now. They remembered what a very wise professor had told them in an Indian Writing in English class: "If you want something, you have to do something about it. You have to take matters into your own hands." And so they did. They took the almost 100 kg matter into their hands and squeezed the living beejesus out of Ms. Menon. She poured out her usual red and black salwar kameez onto the floor creating quite a 'graffiti' in the classroom. After they realized they had taken enough matters into their hands, the students surveyed their class project. "Ah," said one. "Aha," said another. Ms. Menon had oozed out her extra matter and was a thin, attractive, SINGLE woman now. She ran out of class, got married, had four babies and never foamed, rolled her eyes, or giggled ever again.

As for the students? Well, after "ahaahing" enough, they got Mr HOD to teach them. Last heard, they have decided to take matters into their hands again.
~Fin~

Posted by vidi :: 3:50 AM :: 8 wisecracks:

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