I, Me and Myself
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Boyfriends!!!!!!!!
I have more than a hundred boyfriends. For all those shocked, I mean friends who just happened to be boys!!! The term BOYFRIEND has been so overrated that it saddens me to see that today a boy and girl cant just be friends without everybody pointing fingers.
I am honestly asking you, cant a boy and girl be just friends? There are millions of theories that say that the boy and girl will be attracted to each other at some point of time. Technically one can agree to this. For friendship to happen there has to be some kind of mental stimulation and only people who share chemistry can be good friends. The greater the chemistry, the greater the friends. You have to necessarily like a person, to be his or her friend. There has to be some “attraction”, whether in the same sex or different sex friendship. Now to rate this attraction as sexual in nature is where the statistics go wrong.
When I entered college at the age of 16, it was my first experience even talking normally to boys. I had studied in an all girls’ school for my entire life and did not even have a brother or neighbors who were boys. So here I was in a co-ed college and no prior experience to boys. First I was very shy, soon I realized that boys were the same and I had no idea why having being close to boy friends was so over the top. But the first time a boy called my place, I had to convince my parents that he was just a friend and had to restore to the age old Indian syndrome “he is my rakhi brother” !!! At that point I did not know what to believe. I believed in something but I guess as usual the society believed in something else.
Later in life in met a very good friend who happened to be a boy. Ika and me shared a spontaneous chemistry and have been great friends ever since. Even though I met him only two years ago, people mistake us for childhood friends. I am more comfortable with him than many of my girlfriends. I can talk to him about anything under the sun and not feel “sexually different”. Can I help it? Now you may say, I have many childhood friends like that. Presiclsely, when I meet him I was not a child and I knew what could happen between us or rather he knew. On the second day of our friendship I remarked how he reminded me of a younger brother I never had. He immediately took my hand and told me “ We are friends now, but if tomorrow we happen to like each other, then we may go around and even end up married, otherwise we may just stay good friends. Nobody can predict the future and I would rather not have you cut of the possibility of our romantic life by calling me your brother”!!! I was so shocked by what he said and suddenly it hit me how true it was. His honesty made me believe that a boy and girl can remain just friends. I am sure ujju will agree with me.
Nowadays if you are single and with a boy and hang out with him then it is assumed that you must be in love with him. Even parents (especially girls) have a problem with their kids having a very close: call up all the time, hang out all the time and have lunch or watch movie alone with: friend of the opposite sex. Why can’t I enjoy the company of a boy and be closer to him than you are because I get along better with him and like hanging out with him and not because I am romantically interested in him???? (This one is for kutty)
Now don’t mistake me. I am not saying that all boys and girls cant have anything between them but it’s just that the society has created this stupid sex difference that has almost made it compulsory that you must feel for every boy you are friends with because..Well millions of statistics say that a boy and girl cant be friends …then they must be true, Right ???WRONG… trust me.
Throw the stats to where they belong, the dump (subliminal msg to need of stats in psycho pracs too!). They don’t get it that sometimes having a friend of the opposite sex is quite a relief and a welcome change. As the generation is changing and parents are becoming more accommodating, it’s these stupid friends who put ideas into your head that will not only make the friendship uncomfortable but also eventually ruin it. Everyone might say that “I totally believe a boy and a girl can be just friends”, but they are just waiting for some one to start commenting how “a boy and girl friend don’t do things like that ya..”. So heed my advice before its too late. Be friends with whomever you want. If people start questioning why you are so close to a friend of the opposite sex….well then put them next to the stupid stats.
Have a blast and if something happens between the two of you…congratulations…sometimes. …friends are better lovers:)
Posted by vidi ::
1:32 AM ::
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