I, Me and Myself
Sunday, April 29, 2007
what i leave behind
Friday, April 06, 2007
i stand aloneI am a tech journalist. In ten days I ll cease to be that. I don't know if I will ever venture into that part of the field again. The first day at work, I walked in not knowing what to expect. I am not a person who takes risks, ask my friends, they'll bear witness. I even think twice before saying every single word!! But somehow after college, I wanted to take a risk.
During one of my interviews, I met this lady from IBM. She hated technology. She wanted to be a banker. However she wanted to know why she hated technology and she took it up. That was her sole motivation. Today she leads the India Software Labs for IBM. It is a very romantic concept, but so true. Talking to her, I saw myself. The only reason I took up a job in a tech magazine was because I hate technology and business. I don't understand it ergo I hate it. When all my friends where making their ways to fields they thought were their forte, I was picking up a domain that NOBODY thought I had any idea in. They were right, it was a shot in the dark- a blind man's shot in the dark! I had no clue what I was doing or getting into. In the first two months there, I could not stop having a nervous breakdown. It was a stupid decision to hunt out challenges and take risks. What was I thinking?! Seven months down the line- in retrospect I can call it by far the second best decision in my life. I went against the tide, did not listen to anybody and earned a new pride in me.
Last week I quit my job. The very job that made me find pride. In a fit of rage that was inspired by months of stacked emotions, i said 'I QUIT' and very dramatically too. At that point, I had had enough, or so I thought. I had given up my dance, my friends, my sleep, everything i wanted to do, so that I did not look like a fool at this job. It was not necessary. Nobody was asking me to burn the midnight oil, (unless in few cases) and nobody was asking me to put in 11 hours at work. I mean, I know people who work for 48 hours straight and they are juniors in the company too. But I did not mind it untill somebody's incessant nagging about me being lazy and not finishing work eventually got to me. Was it worth it? I did not think so.
Today I am a quitter. I quit the job saying it was not my forte. Justification and rationalization. I might have made the biggest blunder in my life. Even as high-fi s and congratulatory messages made their way at my bold step, I knew I was alone. Everybody thinks I was too impulsive. I stand alone with my choice. Just like how i did when I joined the job. My second risk. My second shot in the dark. I am waiting for retrospect.
Monday, April 02, 2007
tastes like bitterits better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...
BULLSHIT!
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since may 23,2007
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