Wednesday, August 23, 2006
cry baby!!i hate it when i cry, it s like a disease. i just cant stop those stupid tears that refuse to listen to my command and continue to pour out... at all the worst moments possible.
when your really really hurt and you want to make a person feel real bad then... NOOOOO.. then tears decide to take a break... the pretty big eyes manage to stay dry even if you dont blink for a minute!!
otherwise, when everyone is staring at you, when you dont want to look foolish, when it s the smallest thing in the world, the eyes give way.. like as if a dramatic movie is being enacted..argghhhhhh...
ok, enough bull shitting! i cried in front of my boss, i cant believe i admitted it, but i did, it was nothing. he was giving me constructive criticism.
True he referred to my article with terms like "shit" "terrible" "shit" "a joke" "badly written" and did i mention "shit??!!"
but then he was nice and sweet and told me i was learning and that i would always learn.... everything was fine till then cos even i was not happy with the article and i wanted to know what was wrong..... but just my luck...
before i knew it, my eyes were filling up with tears! oh i so wanted to stop myself, but i could not.. i could feel them fill my eye slowly, blurring my vision, bottom to top and then reach the edge and form a huge fat droplet before spilling out ....
my boss stopped talking and i tried to cover them up. it was just tears, i was not crying, it happens when ever i get very.. well...when i laugh, when i m nervous and when i get very very pissed off. just tears, no crying n all!! but my boss was not convinced!
i left the room, trying to laugh, (weird sight!!) feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.
it shouldn't be a big deal. i mean its ok to cry sometimes... especially after u have cried for Bruce almighty!!! (i cant believe i admitted that too!!!) .. anything is okay!!
i had a wise friend convince me in his wise own way...shit happens!!
then he immediately promised to piss on my boss !!! :)
another friend promised to beat him up.
but still..... i cried.
shessh what a baby!
Friday, August 11, 2006
MalzaHave you ever felt the rain? How it starts with a silent display of tiny droplets. Most of the time you are too busy to notice until it pours down on you. The drops feel like small pleasant jabs on your face. As you look up into the night sky questioning it.., it stares back at you, dark and innocent… grinning away slyly at the yet unaware world.
Soon the drops turn from feeble to frenzied.
They fall on your hand, replacing the sudden goose bumps with identical bead like droplets.
Suddenly the word realizes and starts panicking. Pedestrians run for shelter, hawkers bring out large coloured tarpaulins.
Friends try to stay under one umbrella while mothers try and cover their children’s head with their pallus.
The droplets keep falling, visible only in front of a car’s headlight.
The world rushes past you as the dew drops fall on your eye lashes. You blink and open them to a fresh smell of wet mud that wakes up your senses filling you with a natural smile.
Even though you know, you put your hand out, palm open, to test if it is raining. You let it be, allowing the water to form a small puddle in the middle of all the criss-crosses representing your life.
You can see the road getting an eerie shine to it as the street lights start to reflect the oncoming downpour.
You look up, the second time: this time your eyes are closed and unquestioning. You permit the rain to cleanse your face. As if, letting it wash away all the weariness of a tired and long day.
You reach home and mum shrieks after one glance.
“Oh my god, you are drenched!!! You will die of pneumonia , let me bring you a towel and I’ll make something hot for you…”
“Amma, it has not started raining yet, it’s just …”
“Sushhhhh. You act like your 10 years old!! What do I do with you?”
As I step in, it starts to pour. The rain smiles at me and I smile back.
with a last longing look, your back to the dry world.
About Moi!
aT tHe mOmEnT
sO yEsTeRdAy
tHe FrIeNdShIpS
the original duck-walker :)
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since may 23,2007
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