I, Me and Myself
Sunday, May 28, 2006
my tomorrow"when i grow up, i want to become a doctor. a heart suregon.
i want to save other peoples lives. i will also help the poor and treat them for free.
i want to become a doctor because they can help other people."
few lines from my essay writing "what you want to be when you grow up", from my second standard note book.
i never really understood why i had to write this essay, three a times a year, one for every term exam, from second standard all the way upto the eight. just the title changed from simple "what you want to become when you grow up" to the more appropriate " my ambition in life".
the titles kept changing and as i think of it now, i stuck to my ambition. i had my future chalked out. where i would study after my tenth, what i wanted to specalise in. what i want to do tomorrow when i grow up...
its the future now. five years since my tenth. i m grown up now. none of my new friends even know that i wanted to become a doctor!!
the past week, i have been thinking. as i sat on my terrace, i watched the world below.
my solitude spoke to me. suddenly, i could not forgive myself for that day when i silently gave up on my dream to become a doctor because i was too scared to try.
after all dreams were just that right, not reality.
as life moved on, i kept changing with it... making newer adjustments to suit my way of living.. taking precautions not to dream. not to be rejected.
and today, after all these years, somewhere lost in the past, i found the dissapointed younger myself. the one who was inspired after a tall heart surgeon, dressed in green had saved the life of her sister and she had vowed to do the same for others. and i could not face her.
how could i have given up so easily?
her first ever dream. my first dream.
as i sit on my comp now, two in the morning. i think of everything i gave up because i never tried hard enough. the images kept flashing in my head like it was yesterday, except it was not.
i read in a book some where that there is a reason for everything, perhaps at that moment an event ocurs we have neither the insight nor the foresight to comprehend the reason;but with time and patience it will come to light.
in exactly six days i ll be done. my life an open book. every word i write upon it a responsible mistake. i m still wating for my light.
my tomorow is here.
... and i m scared.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
happy :)happiness is so subjective.
making each one in a different perspective
one minute its here and the next its gone.
and not to only one it belongs...
the entire day, i spent under a cloud of gloom
not knowing what to say and what to do.
then the message of love came through
expected, yet unexpected to turn its due
turned my world all around
with sweet nothings laid askew
my smile has not ceased since an hour or two
and this badly written poem is a dedication for vous
hmmmmm... hapiness, so subjective, so true!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
moral story@ WORLDSPACE, BANGALORE
ujju: i made it very clear to them that i m looking for a job and not an internship.
moi: i know no shit bout music, what the hell am i going to do?
chinu(who will be reffered to hereafter as "C2", cos he hates the name chinu and i lack the patience to type out chinnuu chinnapa every time!) : i came here for print, i ll do radio!! :)
day 1
only C2 turns up at nine in the morning with broken hand and all. other two interns missing.
day 2
ujju and moi make an entry at sharp ten only to find the entire office empty, other than of course the extra hardworking intern, C2 who is busy setting album titles. both women look on with new found respect at this one handed boy, doing some super cool job with ALBUM TITLES that we could not even understand... till later (wide smirk)
C2 (to moi): see first u enter this code okay, then you press save and then enter the album title and blah blah blah blah blah.. and voila see the song is ripped with markers for starting vocals, then .... blah blah blah blah....
moi: eh? what?. (sheepish look on face)
ujju: la la la la
----------------------
dundee(our boss): hey u guys can interview a band
ujju&moi: yea!!!
meeting with the band
eh... um.... well almost.... ( we met one guy from the band)
moi: i'm sorry, i was under the presumption that we were meeting with your band...{ meaning: dude!!! where the heck is the rest of your band?????}
dude: well they live out of town
ujju: when will they be back?{ from the holiday}
dude: they live there
moi: so how do u practise?
da dude: we dont.
ujju: { sudden realisation} oh.... you mean they live there and not here!!!!
moral= our first byline :)
-------------
C2: where for lunch?
ujju: not kaycees
moi: not kaycees
C2: i like south indian meals that wrinkle my fingers. wrinkles= satisfaction!
ujju& moi: rolling eyes!
moral= kaycees= inexpensive= "food"
-------------------
(spazz= someone who cant spell to save anybody's life)
ujju: okay type out this interview
moi: ya ya ill do it
ujju: spaz, spaz
moi still typing
ujju: ayyo ayyo spazz
moi shows signs of being hurt
ujju: ayyo spazz, how cute!!
moi shows signs of being happy spazz!
C2: i got my cast off .... that ****ing physio has no sense of feeling! i have never been in so much pain before in MY LIFE... (gets very emotional) agaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
moi: well now you ll have new respect for women in labour!
C2 in complete silence accompanied with "what the f*$* is wrong with you?" expression!
moral= mad ads can hurt and never talk smart when C2 in pain!
----------------
ujju: i m test driving new bike.. its bloody heavy.
C2: riding you mean, so cool. hey get me those drag race tickets from dad no
ujju: ya cool, i ll ask my dad. it will be fun.
moi: complete silence
C2: joe's garage had such super .. blah blah blah
ujju: ya... the race will feature bikes from.. blah blah blah blah
C2( to everyone): i ride a black pulsar(only to always be seen with the Dio!)
ujju: i drive a scooty pep, she s my gal.
C2: ride u mean!!!
moi: complete silence
moral= bikes = ride and not drive
--------------
moi: o great lord, blah blah
ujju: there s a pigeon in the women's loo
moi: there are two pigeon s in the women's loo!
ujju: they keep flying about from the men's to the womens
moi: chiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!
both start giggling
ujju:... and then you know what happened, he told her that he should...
moi: shit,,, no way man... really?
ujju: ya and then blah blah blah.....and she told everybody
moi: ya ????... blah blah blah blah.. these men no...
ujju: i know... blah blah blah
both break into fits of giggling...
C2: Women!!!!!
moral=C2 gossips when he feels like, the rest of the times he just judges! :)
------------------
intern register
ujju: 70% attendance
moi: 75% atendance
C2: 150% attendance!
moral= heh...^^^^look above^!
-----------------
ujju: i m so happy.. la la la
moi: i dont have a future, what am i doing here
C2: i din make the job profile. shit. why da?
ujju: la la la ... i m so happy, happy, happy
moi: at least your not journalism, this is supossed to be my forte
C2: that's not the point. i din clear all those entrance exams also no
moi: at least you have an internship in broadcast, what am i going to do. i cant even type to save anybody's life (spazz)
ujju: happy, happy ( a little frenzied dance)
C2: but you are doing print, your getting those calls also no....
moi: but dude your doing your acj and stuff, i m the one who is messed up here!
ujju: happy, happy, i m going to have pizza in the night!
moral=its not hard to find happiness, ask ujju!!! aapppaaaaaaaa
----------------------
C2: ER is a word
ujju: uhm... i don think so
moi: i m sure its not. shut it and put something else
C2: it is, it is, it is
moi picks up the two letters and throws it at him.
ujju: ABBREVIATIONS NOT ALLOWED!!!!
C2: moi your turn
moi: hmmmmmmmmmmm
ujju: ayyo play ya
moi: hmmmmmmmmmmmm
C2: listen, i ll leave the game now. i can make a hundred words with the letters
moi: .... and i cant because i dont have the same letters as you, dumbass !
C2: (with sudden realisation)... oh....
C2: listen, you chicks don know how to play. and this ujju's rule book is stupid
ujju: rune, there that s my word
moi:hot, there thats my word
C2: tv.......
ujju &moi: aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
moral= Scrabble and bhat= never mind!
----------------------
moi: updates done.
ujju: yup
moi: so wat next?
ujju: don know
moi: hmmmmm
ujju: hmmmmm
ujju: lets go on google chat
moi: sitting on computers next to each other??
ujju: yup
moi: okay cool.
ujju[types on google]: so wassup
moi:[typing] nothing ya, bored
ujju: lets play tic tac toe on messenger.
moi: sitting on computers next to each other??
ujju: yup
moi: okay cool
moral= joblessness can hurt. better get employed fast.
--------------------------
last day at work
C2: where to for lunch
ujju: not kacyees
moi: not kacyees
C2: cool, pecos it is then. you can buy me a pitcher
moral= C2 always gets his food!
*****
C2 (to moi) : so first you put in a code no, then enter album title all in uper case.. blah blah blah..
moi: eh? what?...
ujju: la la la .. happy happy
MORAL = worldspace+2moths+3miserable auditions+1 goofed up music review+pinto's samosas+ those crank calls by some north bugger( ha ha ha, thanks bhat bhaiya!) +loooooooooots of Orkutting+ one healed hand+ 3 free t shirts+ all christies!+ 8 psycho practicals undergone by 4+bheema lunch+ dundee's " no sweat"+rajkumar posters+going on air = AWESOME.
will miss this too.
wHaT yOu ArE rEaDiNg HeRe
About Moi!
aT tHe mOmEnT
sO yEsTeRdAy
tHe FrIeNdShIpS
the original duck-walker :)
Credits
since may 23,2007
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