I, Me and Myself

Saturday, March 18, 2006

the home i m leaving behind

your just a house and nothing more,
a decade is not such a long time
if you see that im twice that old....
i grew up here for the first time
4 4' then 4 8' and finally stoping at 5 0'
i fell in love here for the first time,
dreaming of a distant future,

in the silence of the night i held secret coversations
sometimes with a jobless friend,
sometimes with my computer
sometimes with myself
always getting scared at the smallest noise
mostly from the (non stop) chatt house next door
and the imaginary sound of anklets
(which i hear even to this day!)
i burned the mid night oil
and spent several sleepless nights
pouring over books and
walked around the house
what will i do this time?
i ran out when it rained,
the terrace was my place on diwali
the cold cold breeze, along with
the falling leaves of an age old concnut tree

i was the girl who stayed next to "ushus"!
with the egde in my backyard
what memories will i take back with me?
of leaving school?
or of becoming a graduate?


i turned 16 here, and then 18 and then 21
growing up to be the person i am
i came back here to my room with a broken heart
sobbing silently into a pillow
i came to the same when i won
i came to the same when i lost
the room still remains
i changed

i broke the door knob, the lock,
the window and a huge mirror
everything is replaced now.
just as it was before i came
they painted the rooms and hid the walls
that were disfigured with the memories of a little girl
who loved to inscribe her name, dreaming of a famous future
the long corriors echoed the sounds of the past
laughter, screams and sobbing alike
as i ignore its silent pleas of- don go.
the new tiles hid the old ones,
broken by the sudden zest to walk and study all night long
not to mention the dance performances it bore!
the old storage was cleared,
the old memories were gone
old secret places were found
new tears emerged.
i danced, i sang
i laughed, i cried
i was betrayed, i was hurt
i was elated, i was the victor
i loved
i lived
i grew

your are just a house now and nothing more
today i ll be gone
like u' ll be tomorrow
then you will not be a house any more
just a pile of rubble and debri
over the most cherished memories
of a lost girl.


dedicated to the ten best years of my life.

Posted by vidi :: 9:03 PM :: 11 wisecracks:

Post / what they thought...

-------------------------------------