I, Me and Myself

Saturday, October 01, 2005



I love him.…
He is around six feet tall, has the dreamiest dark brown eyes and a killer smile. I met him four years ago, when I was seventeen. The first look did it all. It was rather ironic. For a year before, I was unaware of his existence and after I saw him I could not stop seeing him everywhere. I never believed in love at first sight but he had decided to make me eat my words. We studied in the same college, different classes. He knew all my friends and I knew all of his but we never got introduced or even spoke. I still remember, I had to walk home with my friends and he decided to come along. Nobody knew at that time. It was December 16,2002. The evening after college had finished Christmas celebrations. I was gaily dressed in the oldest pair of salwar (dress code applied even then) with a string of green shiny streamer around my neck…. celebrating the Christmas spirit. We walked all the way from college till check-post…nobody introduced us but in an unspoken way it was understood that we knew each other. He was very sweet and even tried making conversation (mainly about the streamer) but I was too overwhelmed and just answered in one-liners. He even asked me where I lived but my other friend (who incidentally claimed to be totally in love with this same guy) was ready to answer all his questions even if they were not directed towards her. I decided to keep mum, not because I was nervous or was trying to play hard to get but coz I felt happy just walking next to him. It was perfect….he was perfect. After the walk, that lasted about 15 minutes, he headed of in his direction and I did in mine. I looked back unable to stop myself…then I fell. Not fell in love kinda fall but fell on the road…flat on my face and if it hadn’t been a red light, I most probably would not be typing with my hands at least. That event should have embarrassed me but after the walk nothing ever in my life worried me…that’s when I knew things were going to be different.
It has been three years since the walk….i never told him how I felt even though graduation day almost made it happen…. And somewhere in my heart like before…there was an unspoken thought….he always knew. And after all this time I was finally introduced to him “officially” just two months ago. It was a sudden shock and even after all this time…I felt my heart drop to my stomach as he approached me. We spoke about some stupid stuff that did not make any sense at all….but then again I was content. As I sat next to him, I remembered the number of times I had wished on a shooting star for something like this. Just taking in his voice, his smile and just sitting next to him. And as he turned and smiled…i smiled back....with understanding
He still studies in my college and has a girlfriend. I thought I should have felt bad and cried my eyes out but suddenly it did not matter. I tried in vain to get over him but now I know that I don’t have to. Sometimes….. it just feels right. Who says love makes you bitter. It is the most beautiful thing in the world.He is my first love and will always be.

Posted by vidi :: 8:59 PM :: 6 wisecracks:

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